On November 17, 2023, Judy Owens and Patricia Williams from Haddonfield Monthly Meeting met with PYM’s Aging Support Coordinator, Sheila Sorkin, and Senior Content Manager, Tiffanie McKinnon, to discuss the life and community of HMM’s aging Friends.
Humble Beginnings
Sheila first connected with Judy in May of 2022 as a part of her search for innovative initiatives on aging concerns within PYM. Judy often shared with Sheila a monthly email which was sent to aging friends in Haddonfield, inviting them to participate in fun, cultural and informational sessions. Shortly after, George Schaefer, Care and Aging Coordinator of PYM, attended a Haddonfield Quarterly Meeting workshop on Aging Gracefully; from there Friendly Seniors began. The group first started with group discussions and later picked up with Friends spending time together for social experiences.
Upon George’s retirement, the Meeting wrote “George has advised and supported our Meeting’s ‘Aging as Friends’ discussion group, which has been helpful to many of us.” The group continues to enjoy information sharing and actively looking for deeper emotional connections that are both aging-related and Quaker-connected.
The Planning Group
The planning group consists of Judy Owens, a retired psychotherapist, Patricia Williams, a retired healthcare and trademark lawyer, Deb Reese, a retired administrator of non-profits with an enthusiasm about organizational issues, and Lucy Savarese, an artist who lives and breathes art. Bob Sheffield, a retired analyst, has volunteered to plan walks and other activities, and he is now part of the planning group. Nowadays, the planning group meets regularly to exchange meeting ideas.
The newsletter starts with short narratives about each activity, featuring monthly walks and discussion groups. It then includes information about local programs for seniors and topics of interest to all retired people: Social Security, Medicare, prescription drug programs, etc. Finally, news items of interest to seniors are linked, such as research into dementia and viruses particularly dangerous to seniors, current events in the long-term care industry and “The Golden Bachelor.”
Friendly Seniors hosts monthly speakers or get-togethers and bimonthly luncheons at various local restaurants. For topics development, Pat often shares resources from her professional listserv and from other journals to which she subscribes. Shared favorites amongst the group are an annual “Soup Gathering” and walks to local sites of interest. Meetings are held in the Meetinghouse, requiring coordination with Haddonfield Friends School’s use of the building. Most but not all participants are members of Haddonfield Meeting, and they focus on issues shared between older Quakers. Quaker values are held in high regard during discussions with attention to a more intimate and emotional connection.
The Resources
Topics and discussions generated by the planning group center around what Pat Williams refers to as “the way opens, without having to open the door.” Judy Owens shares some of the successful programming incorporated, including:
- Thoughtful and delightful ideas of how to get “replenishment” as winter gets underway.
- Reading as a favorite way of taking care of themselves, including Haddonfield Meeting’s annual “Cozy Book Chat” via Zoom, including mysteries, fiction and other reads of a more inspirational nature.
- Sharing ideas about how the pandemic has shifted our perspective or behavior.
- Educational programs, such as “Decluttering”, “Preparing for a ‘Good Death’” and “Medicare Options”. AARP has provided some excellent speakers on relevant topics.
Some How To’s
Another program focused on retirement with some recommended attitudes and behaviors. The group shared recommendations with those who were not able to attend:
- Take the initiative: That means making the first move.
- Accept all invitations: Say yes if invited (of course, using good judgment).
- Take a risk: This suggests being a little daring.
- Be informed: Create a study plan for yourself on topics of interest.
- Be generous and gracious: Consider hosting an event.
- Consider volunteering: From one study, 87 percent of retired participants reported that volunteering helped them feel youthful.
- Schedule time with family and friends: Nurture the relationships that you have.
Pat Williams introduced the group to the concept of “naturally occurring retirement communities” or “NORCs.” A NORC is defined by the State of New York as “…a community or neighborhood with a growing population of older adults in which the dwellings were not purposefully intended for older adults when they were originally … built.” Some NORCs have developed into Villages, i.e., nonprofit organizations that connect their members, who choose to age in their homes, to support services and social connections. Deb Reese and Lucy Savarese contacted the Village to Village Network, a nonprofit organization that brings Villages together to share best practices. The planning group considered creating a Village but decided to continue informally creating activities and programs focused on retirement. As part of this consideration, Friendly Seniors developed a community resources providers list, covering pet care, medical/health care, hobbies and more. This resource list is a concrete way that Friendly Seniors supports aging Friends.
It was enriching to talk with older Friends and find out what activities they are intentional about to keep themselves active, connected, and prepared. We appreciate the willingness of the Friendly Seniors to share their key resources and happenings.
Stay connected for part 3 of this series of follow-up stories showcasing Seniors helping Seniors at Third Haven monthly meetings. In case you missed it, check out part 1, Concord Quarter Working Group Offers Resources and Support for Aging Friends.
This article was prepared by Sheila Sorkin, PYM, Aging Support Coordinator in collaboration with Tiffanie McKinnon, PYM Senior Content Manager. This article is to provide support, resources and engage the aging community of the Philadelphia Yearly Meeting as part of the “To Brighten Your Day” series.
