The Friends Counseling Service (FCS) serves members and attenders of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting (PYM) who are in search for guidance, comfort, and assistance. This service offers accessible mental health care to Friends across PYM with counselors providing individual therapy, couples counseling, and family therapy sessions. We connected with Janaki Spickard Keeler, Friends Counseling Service Coordinator, who provided additional insight into the service by answering some key questions.
Religious Education
Religious Education Resources & Events Fall 2024
Summer is waning, the crickets are singing, and it’s time to get ready for the next year in religious education programs! The Fall issue of The Tote Bag: Religious Education and Family Resources is here to support getting ready for children, youth, and intergenerational programs in meetings. This includes new resources to support middle school engagement, explore Bible stories with children, and how to talk together with young people about election issues. With the upcoming election in November, staff have been thinking about how to support families and young people to feel grounded in our testimonies of integrity and peace. Two specific events for adults and children/youth are happening this fall. Read on!
[Read more…] about Religious Education Resources & Events Fall 2024
Supporting Children and Teens After Violence in the News
How do we talk to children and adolescents about gun violence and senseless tragedy? Parents and caregivers are helping their children process their feelings alongside their own, and signs of anxiety are different in children and adolescents when compared with adults. Pastoral care for children begins with pastoral care for their caregivers, and the resources below are offered to support parents and caregivers, educators, and Friends who care for and work with youth. A concern about election violence led to the creation of this event in October for families — Peace Begins with You: A Gathering for Children & Families — and we hope you will share this community gathering and the resources below with your meeting.
Processing in Developmentally Appropriate Ways
Children and teens will have different exposure to and understanding of violent incidents, and may feel anxiety, confusion, fear, sadness, or anger, and have questions about what they see and hear in the media and from friends. Children cannot always articulate their feelings, and they may show us how they are feeling through play or behaviors. Their anxiety may show up as: anger, negativity, difficulty sleeping (particularly falling asleep), defiance, and lack of focus. For adolescent youth, symptoms of anxiety may include recurring fears and worries about routine parts of everyday life, irritability, trouble concentrating, withdrawal, and complaints about stomachaches or headaches.
* Some practical advice for parents and caregivers
- Parents and adults need to first deal with and assess their own responses to crisis and stress.
- In PYM, adults seeking support can reach out to the Friends Counseling Service.
- Try and keep routines as normal as possible. Children gain security from the predictability of routine, including attending school.
- Be present. Listen to your children’s fears and concerns.
- Depending on their age, limit exposure to television and the news but be honest with kids and share with them as much information as they are developmentally able to handle with simple, honest answers.
- Reassure kids that the world is a good place to be (individuals are responsible for violent actions).
- Reaffirm attachments and relationships.
Resources for Adults Supporting Children and Teens
- Spiritual Practices for Use During a Traumatic News Event from Traci Smith
- Talking to Children About Gun Violence from Everytown for Gun Safety
- Talking to young children about community violence from Sesame Workshop
- Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Families and Educators from the National Association of School Psychologists
- Helping your children manage distress in the aftermath of a shooting from the American Psychological Association
- Isaiah and the Worry Pack — Learning to Trust God with All Our Fears by Ruth Goring
- A Kids Book About Anxiety by Ross Szabo from the “A Kids Book About” series. The inside covers suggests, ”This book is best read together, grownup and kid.”
Making Faithful Practices Available
Children need us to hear their concerns, and we can provide reassurance even if we do not have answers. Lifting up our worry and anxiety in prayer is another way to acknowledge those feelings and place them in the care of our Quaker faith. These coloring pages “Prayers For When You Feel Anxious” includes both suggested prayers and three different sets of images for mindful coloring. This lesson plan about meeting for worship suggests that our worship as Friends is a container that is strong enough to hold big feelings —even hard ones—and the lesson could be adapted to help process recent events and heavy hearts, alongside encouragement to continue finding the Light in our world.
Election Violence Prevention: Youth Programs
The guidance below for “Youth Programming” comes from Friend Emily Provance (a traveling minister from New York Yearly Meeting) and the Election Violence Prevention series she has created.
Featured strategy: Youth Programming
What the strategy means: There are three ways to approach this strategy: (1) encouraging teens and young adults to engage in the political process nonviolently, (2) empowering teens and young adults as leaders in the nonviolent movement, and (3) holding peaceful social events for teens and young adults during “flashpoint” moments, such as the day of an election or inauguration. How this strategy prevents election violence: Young adults and teens are often perpetrators of election violence, but this is often because older people have intentionally encouraged them to be violent. Empowering youth to take and even lead nonviolent actions means that they are much less likely to be convinced that violence is their best avenue for change.
Action Steps:
These are things that you can do to enact or promote election monitoring and mapping. Which one sounds like a good match for young people you know, and for you?
- For shepherd people (gifted in leading or organizing groups): Create or visit a youth forum, small or large, of teens and young adults. Support them in learning about and actively practicing nonviolent strategies for the political changes that they want to see.
- For relationship people (folks who are good at conversations and making friends): Ask some young people for their thoughts about the upcoming election cycle. Engage in conversation. What do they believe is likely to happen? How does that feel? Do they have concerns? Do they have ideas for action?
- For word people (talented writers and/or speakers): See if you can find a high school or university class or club to which you can speak about the election cycle and ways to engage in political change nonviolently.
- For prayer people (spiritual grounded intercessors): Pray for young people in particular throughout the election cycle. When the opportunity arises, invite young people you know to pray actively for nonviolence.
- For motion people (naturally physically active doers): Consider holding a sports tournament on a Saturday or several weekends in a row. During breaks and over snacks, talk about the election cycle and the influence young people can have on nonviolence in their communities.
- For learning people (research ninjas and data analyzers): Find out what, if anything, your local schools are teaching in terms of voter and civic education.
- For creative people (artists, musicians, performers, and crafters): Find an opportunity to hold a creative workshop of some sort for young people, either by organizing a group or by being a guest artist for an existing group. Use election violence prevention as your theme.
Image: Pixabay.com
Spring Family Overnight Recap
On the cool, spring Saturday afternoon of Mother’s Day weekend, seventeen families met at Camp Dark Waters in Medford, NJ for PYM’s Spring Family Overnight. Nearly sixty Friends stepped joyfully onto the sandy forest floor. PYM Youth Staff Crystal Hershey, Abigaile Brace-Higgins, and Elizabeth Croce were there to welcome and direct them to their cabins. Children from ages 4-13 years old got busy playing with the tether ball, building sandcastles, and playing ping pong. Families paddled canoes around the lake. After settling in and playing, everyone got into a large circle for a game of The Big Wind Blows. Then CDW guides led multigenerational team building games. Families had to work together and think creatively through challenges that involved balance, stealth, speed, and trust. The Big Swing (a very long rope hanging from a very large tree) was a favorite activity. Friends wearing harnesses and helmets held the rope tightly, and bravely swung out over the lake!
Everyone worked up an appetite, so a team of Friends prepared dinner together in the kitchen. A fantastic feast of tacos, burritos, nachos, wraps, beans, and rice provided something for every taste! With full bellies, Friends snuggled around a campfire. There’s always room for s’mores! Children told scary stories, giggled, and played with flashlights until it was finally time for bed. No one wanted the beautiful day to end.
Campers awoke to the gentle sound of raindrops falling on the forest leaves. Warming up with coffee, hot chocolate, a big breakfast banquet of bagels, eggs, sausages, fruit, and yogurt was wonderful. Then it was time for Worship. Friends gathered outside under the shelter of the raised dining hall, sitting in a large circle on the sand. Many warm thoughts and loving stories about mothers and caregivers were shared out of the silence. At the rise of Worship, there was a birthday celebration for a 7-year-old. Cupcakes and song made a marvelous finish to a fantastic weekend together.
Many more opportunities for families to connect will be available in the future! Save the date for our next gathering – a PYM Family Day at Pendle Hill on Saturday, September 21. More detailed information will be available soon on the Youth Programs page of the PYM website.
Youth Programs at Camp Swatara with Caln QM
Over the weekend of May 3 to 5, PYM high school and middle school Friends shared community and had lots of fun at Camp Swatara in Bethel PA. Joining Caln Quarter in their annual gathering, the youth enjoyed fellowship, various workshops and activities, and the beauty of the rain! It was a wonderful opportunity to build relationships with youth from around the Yearly Meeting. The youth program was facilitated by PYM youth staff Clare Chalkley, Tara Rubinstein, Alix Vallery, and Crystal Hershey. Robert Rosenthal, from Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting, served as an adult Friendly Presence, supporting staff and youth throughout the weekend.
Arriving Friday night, Friends set up their bunks and played cards (Apples to Apples!) before gathering around the campfire to play name games and sing songs. Saturday morning started with breakfast and Meeting for Worship with the assembled Caln Quarter, followed by diving into the first youth workshop of the weekend. Recognizing the importance of learning how to engage with one another in peaceful ways, Tara led a workshop focused on resisting polarization and having difficult conversations with others. After lunch, some Friends went on a hike up to the rock pile (narrowly avoiding getting caught in the rain!), while the rest of the group painted Peace Rocks and attended workshops presented by Caln Quarter. After some much needed down time, Friends went to dinner, the art opening, and the talent show. Many of the youth showed off their artistic and musical talents throughout the evening, sharing their paintings, Tae Kwon Do demonstrations, violin and guitar performances, and more!
On Sunday morning, Friends participated in the second youth workshop of the weekend. Clare facilitated an introduction to the Quaker model of conducting business, and the youth practiced the decision-making process. The weekend ended with Meeting for Worship with the rest of the gathering, lunch, and goodbye until next time!
It’s been a long-standing tradition for PYM youth to take part in Caln Quarter’s Camp Swatara retreat weekend, and as always, it was wonderful to be together in community! This year, the PYM group included some youth who are part of a new Young Friends pilot program, which has been meeting twice a month throughout the spring. This program has focused on building community and having fun, and also providing opportunities for learning – about Quakerism and about social justice issues of importance to youth. This new Young Friends program will continue in the fall…more information will be available on the PYM website later this summer. All 8th to 12th graders are invited to join us!
Attending The Gathering From Childhood Reinforced Lifelong Connections with Friends
Attending the Gathering from Childhood Reinforced Lifelong Connections with Friends
When I was nine, my family’s move brought us to a different unprogrammed meeting in a new state. My newly- made friend’s warm, cheerful mother invited me to go to the Cape May, New Jersey, Conference (not called the Gathering yet) with her and my friend, since my family was not able to attend. I eagerly accepted. [Read more…] about Attending The Gathering From Childhood Reinforced Lifelong Connections with Friends
Asma’s First FGC Gathering Story
May 19, 2023
by Joan Botto, (first published on the Friends General Conference website)
Asma arrived at her first Gathering in 2022 after driving 10 hours with Friends from her monthly meeting in Florida to Radford University in Virginia. [Read more…] about Asma’s First FGC Gathering Story
Religious Education Resources & Events for Spring 2024
Spring is here! We often talk about renewal in this time, and there is also a duality about springtime that can feel liminal. In March, the warmer sunlight belies the chill still in the air. Flowers pop up along the edges of lawns still covered in autumn leaves. Easter has the dual, entwined messages of loss and joy. Resources and ideas are offered below for families and meetings as we move into the spring months! Please also check out and share with families in your meeting the April and May events for children,youth, and families being hosted by the wonderful PYM Youth Programs staff! [Read more…] about Religious Education Resources & Events for Spring 2024
PYM Young Friends Launches Brand-New Program for 8th-12th Graders
Why Join Young Friends?
Hey teens! This is Tara and Clare, the co-facilitators for the super awesome, brand-new program for 8th-12th graders. We know spring is a busy season and you might be wondering whether this program is something you really want to make time for. So let us tell you a little bit more about the program and about us! [Read more…] about PYM Young Friends Launches Brand-New Program for 8th-12th Graders
Winter Family Overnight at Camp Onas
On February 10 – 11, twenty Friends gathered at Camp Onas for PYM’s Winter Family Overnight! Crystal Hershey and Abigaile Brace-Higgins, PYM Children & Families CoFacilitators, planned and facilitated the event. As everyone arrived over the course of the afternoon, they opened their arms to one another for big hugs! After hauling luggage into cozy bedrooms, it was time to explore the grounds. The youth went straight to the tire swing and long rope swing hanging from huge old trees. There were trails to hike outdoors, art crafting tables in the common room, and air hockey to play in the game room. Everyone gathered in a circle outside for a game of “The Big Wind Blows.” There was a lot of laughing and chasing one another around! [Read more…] about Winter Family Overnight at Camp Onas
