On October 19th, Friends gathered at Chestnut Hill Friends Meeting for a Thread Gathering focused on grief, loss, and pastoral care. The day provided space for conversations about how meetings offer support during life’s difficult moments. Participants shared their experiences, noting that strong relationships help meetings respond when members are going through challenges.
Here are some reflections that some attendees shared:
- Connections and relationships across the meeting help members notice each other’s needs more effectively.
- Some organizations that struggle with unresolved conflicts and need more trust, resources, and engagement to address them.
- New York Yearly Meeting has a mutual accompaniment practice that involves all members in supporting the well-being of others, rather than relying solely on committees.
- Friends expressed a need for “Pastoral Care 101” to help those interested in pastoral care find guidance and support.
- Susan Hoskins (Newtown Friends Meeting) mentioned leading a year-long course on aging issues, and Concord Quarter provided a similar program.
- Some participants emphasized the importance of establishing a crisis protocol, including identifying who makes the first call in emergencies.
- Several Friends noted that memorial minutes, once common, are no longer being written as frequently and suggested reviving the practice.
- A Friend is working to start death cafés or death dinner parties to foster conversations about end-of-life planning, and requested guidance in this process.
- Some meetings discussed hosting gatherings where Friends can write their own obituaries to assist with future memorial minutes.
- Clearness committees were suggested as a way to support families facing medical or end-of-life decisions.
- A Friend noted that people often say they are “fine” even when experiencing challenges such as mobility loss or family changes, indicating a need for more openness.
- One participant wondered about the spiritual impact of holding someone in the Light and suggested further reflection on the practice.
- Friends shared concerns about relying too heavily on a few individuals for leadership and discussed the importance of involving more members in these roles.
The day included several workshops led by experienced facilitators, offering opportunities for learning, connection, and reflection. Molly Hicks and George Salloom (both from Old Haverford Meeting) guided a session on sharing grief through meditation, song, and deep listening. Susan Garrison (Media Meeting) and Susan Hoskins (Newtown Friends Meeting) led a workshop on creating advance directives and end-of-life plans, offering practical tools for thoughtful planning. Reverend Rhetta Morgan facilitated a Sound and Silence Grief Circle, inviting participants to explore healing through community, song, and quiet reflection. Each workshop provided space for Friends to engage with meaningful topics and connect with others in supportive ways.
The gathering offered a chance to exchange ideas and reflect on how pastoral care can grow within meetings. Friends left with thoughtful insights about the value of shared responsibility and the importance of being present for one another in both everyday moments and times of deeper need.
